Anger, ever sat and thought about anger?
Well Anger is an interesting thing we experience. I've had to come to terms with what anger is and why the CRAP we have to deal with it. :) No I am not taking an anger management class, no I don't have issues....oh wait :).
If you want a good book to help you understand anger try reading "Letting Go of Anger: The 10 Most Common Anger Styles and What to do About Them" by Ron Potter-Efron, M.S.W. and Pat Potter-Efron, M.S.
I went through the book's anger survey to find out what style of anger I am. I have several actually. One that really provoked some thinking (yeah it hurt a little, lol) was to find out I am and Anger Avoidant style. Wow, I didn't think I actually avoided anger.
I learned something new that I had never thought of before: Anger is a natural emotion. It is OKAY to feel angry. Feeling the anger emotion is not BAD it just depends what you do with it once you feel it. You can't just repress it. You have to choose to deal with it wisely.
That was a new thought for me. I guess I always thought anger was bad bad bad. So now my life experiences and my reactions to them make sense. I really do avoid anger. I repress it and when the anger emotion tries to lurk its way in I push it away with a 'that's bad' thought, until finally all the repressed anger explodes (apologies to anyone who has witnessed my exploding moments).
To sum it all up, anger is a part of life. Just cuz you feel it doesn't mean you're bad. Allow yourself to feel it, deal with it appropriately and then let it go.
To make sure I don't sink back into old habits of repressing anger I try to allow myself a day here and there to be my 'angry day'. So I sit and think of all the things that make me angry and process them and then let them go. It has helped. :)
There are many different anger styles: avoidant, sneaky, moral, deliberate, habitual, addictive, shameful, paranoid, sudden, and hateful. Check out this book to find out which one or several fit your style..........
Have a good day!!!!!!!!!! :D