Tuesday, February 24, 2009

ANGER

Anger, ever sat and thought about anger?

Well Anger is an interesting thing we experience. I've had to come to terms with what anger is and why the CRAP we have to deal with it. :) No I am not taking an anger management class, no I don't have issues....oh wait :).

If you want a good book to help you understand anger try reading "Letting Go of Anger: The 10 Most Common Anger Styles and What to do About Them" by Ron Potter-Efron, M.S.W. and Pat Potter-Efron, M.S.

I went through the book's anger survey to find out what style of anger I am. I have several actually. One that really provoked some thinking (yeah it hurt a little, lol) was to find out I am and Anger Avoidant style. Wow, I didn't think I actually avoided anger.
I learned something new that I had never thought of before: Anger is a natural emotion. It is OKAY to feel angry. Feeling the anger emotion is not BAD it just depends what you do with it once you feel it. You can't just repress it. You have to choose to deal with it wisely.

That was a new thought for me. I guess I always thought anger was bad bad bad. So now my life experiences and my reactions to them make sense. I really do avoid anger. I repress it and when the anger emotion tries to lurk its way in I push it away with a 'that's bad' thought, until finally all the repressed anger explodes (apologies to anyone who has witnessed my exploding moments).

To sum it all up, anger is a part of life. Just cuz you feel it doesn't mean you're bad. Allow yourself to feel it, deal with it appropriately and then let it go.

To make sure I don't sink back into old habits of repressing anger I try to allow myself a day here and there to be my 'angry day'. So I sit and think of all the things that make me angry and process them and then let them go. It has helped. :)

There are many different anger styles: avoidant, sneaky, moral, deliberate, habitual, addictive, shameful, paranoid, sudden, and hateful. Check out this book to find out which one or several fit your style..........
Have a good day!!!!!!!!!! :D

5 comments:

  1. I'm afraid to find out what kind of anger I have. What if it's ALL of those? That really would TICK ME OFF!
    Great post today mi sobrina!
    xoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  2. I used to be an avoider, too. I thought anger was bad because of the ample examples of using it badly while I was growing up. And when it did finally boil over the edge, I felt guilty. I'm past that. I just feel it as it comes and then move on. And I'm finding that sometimes anger is necessary because if I didn't get angry sometimes I'd stay in bad situations. Have you ever noticed how many times the Book of Mormon says that Captain Moroni was angry? What a good example of using anger correctly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. WHAT?!?! HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST THAT I'M VULNERABLE TO THAT PITIFUL, UNNECESSARY EMOTION KNOWN AS "ANGER"?!?!! AND BTW, I'M PERFECTLY IN TOUCH WITH ALL OF MY EMOTIONS!!! ;-)

    Seriously, anger is a tough one to reconcile. And now I'm really curious about that book! I have a feeling I have a lot of "styles," (hopefully not the "hateful" one - eek!), just at different times. FWIW, I've been trying to actually process what I'm feeling lately - it saves a lot of stress & frustration, (especially for my family), but it'd save a lot more if I were better at it, LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh - by the way, I think that "last updated" note on your page is BRILLIANT!!! :-)

    ReplyDelete